This is a difficult bit to write about. Difficult because it comes with coming clean, my wife doesn't even know i started blogging about my paternal and personal odyssey as a first-time dad. Growing up was great. Call it a dramatic cocktail of the good, the bad and ugly, i will say, you are on-point. Not perfect, but am sensible enough to thank God for the gift of a good parent. Dad loves education, fun ,less than average church-person and a heavy-duty disciplinarian but he believes in God. Mum is an epitome of compassion to a fault, had to stop education around age 10-15 yrs i suppose due to affordability and her mum's death yet developed herself skill-wise in fashion/model industry. She rubbed shoulders abit with the high and mighty. Dad did not. Mum was a more serious church-goer than dad, though she has a Muslim background. Don't blame her, blamed love. The ugly part was that their only son, heir apparent picked up porn some way some how. First contact with porn is still foggy but remember i did have friends we share porn and other explicit materials with. I picked up a porn video cassette one day from my dad's cupboard (oh! pls don't ask me how it got there), gulped it down. Mum caught me, was gon report me to dad and i knew i would rather kill myself than let her tell dad. Cuz i know the consequence. A high-voltage pranking till death! Unlike dad, she made me read Psalms 51 as a deal-broker.Then begin a life-long battle for my mind. God or porn? To watch or not to watch? Voice of the spirit or flesh? David or goliath? Coming to JESUS means a change of attitude, and does not mean my porn past was gon be whisked away by some magical past. I have to work out my salvation with fear and trembling. I love JESUS and want to live for him, but the things i do not want to do that i do, and that i do not want to do, i do.
Why do i cry? Like Paul I have shed many tears in secret places. I screamed! I groaned! I have cried Abba Father! i need help. I am daily fighting temptations, and the fighting the good fight of faith. The battle of and for my mind keeps me humble, i realize that this is WAR, check myself if am still in faith and reassures myself i have victory when i look up to JESUS, the author and finisher of my faith. By his grace, those days are over.That is why i have to make sure i close all avenue.
As i journey into fatherhood, i began to re-evaluate myself, my legacy, perspective and how to teach my sons/daughters about JESUS, and the negative impact porn/explicit imagery, the pressure friends, media will have on my kids. I discovered that the road to a fulfilled fatherhood is not complete until i have a Christ-loving, sin-loathing, blood-bought children mannered in the similitude of the palace, who can say this is evil and i have no part to play, kids who will inspire other kids to live for JESUS.
The good news is in the battle between David or goliath, we know how the story ends.I love happy ending.
Quick Prayer for All Kids/Youths/Man/Woman
As JESUS prayed for his disciples in John 17 from verse 11, saying Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name, the name you gave me,so that they may be as one as we are one.(12) while i was with them, i protected them,and kept them safe by the name you gave me. These i pray in JESUS mighty name for my kids and other kids facing peer pressure and media on-onslaught everyday, Amen
Please complete and meditate on the rest of the verse.
Inspired by Passion to leave a Christ-like Legacy
